3 methods of gratitude that can immediately transform your life

3 methods of gratitude that can immediately transform yur life3 methods of gratitude that can immediately transform your lifeIf youre struggling to move forward in your life, the dicke bretter bohren mssen isnt your life.The problem isnt your circumstances.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraThe problem isnt your lack of skills and knowledge.The problem isnt the busy and overcrowded marketplace.The problemisyou.No matter the condition of your life or the world, you have the opportunity to 1) be happy, and 2) move forward in the direction you want to go.Without question, the world is crazier, busier, and more complex than ever. Theres never been a harder and easier time to succeed.Its harder now than ever because if you dont learn to manage yourself, then you are basically a ping-pong ball being bounced around by well-designed dopamine hit after dopamine hit. Our world is becoming in creasinglydesigned for distraction and confusion.As Standford psychologist, BJ Fogg, hassaid, Design crushes willpower. Fogg further explains that design crushes willpower in two specific waysIf you design your life and environment right, then you wont need to use willpower to do the right thing (thats the positive part)Other people design things that overwhelm your willpower, and the only way you can get control back is via designing your own life (thats the negative part)So, life is harder now than ever because our world is designed to distract us. Our world is more confusing than ever.This is no secret.Depression and anxiety rates are skyrocketing.Addiction is an epidemic.Obesity continues to rise in America.General unhappiness, numbness, and dissatisfaction are basically the expected norm.If your life isnt moving the direction you want it to go, or if you feel overwhelmed by everything on your plate, then this article is for you.You can apply the methods in this article and land see IMMEDIATE results.If you begin to develop a practice to apply the methods in this article, then you will learn how to achieve any goal you set.Gratitude is the mother of virtues.Youve heard that a thousand times.But what does it actually mean to be grateful? Clearly, it isnt writing down a list of what youre grateful for once per year on Thanksgiving. And although that is a helpful exercise, theres a lot more to it. Although it isnt complicated.Gratitude Transforms 3ThingsFundamentally, gratitude is intended to change three thingsYour pastYour presentYour futureIf youre not transforming your past, present, and future, then you arent fully experiencing the benefits of gratitude.Every morning, you have the opportunity to trigger a mental and emotional state that sustains throughout the whole day.If you start your day right, youll be shocked at the momentum you can create.Even more though, if you give yourself some space Im talking 530 minutes of strategic gratitude and visualizati on, then you literally prime your brain to operate at a higher level throughout the day.So heres how to apply the three methods of gratitudeTransform YourPastDan Sullivan, the founder of Strategic Coach, has a very important concept he teaches entrepreneurs he calls itThe Gap and the Gain.Most people are living in The Gap. They always see what is missing. For example, I could get my son a candy bar on my way home from work and when I give it to him, he might say, You didnt get the one I like.Thats the gap.My son didnt notice or appreciate the fact that I went out of my way to get him a gift. He only noticed that the thing wasnt what it could have been.He didnt realize that he just gained something. He only saw the gap.Most people live their entires lives in the gap. Dan teaches his entrepreneurs instead to live in the gain. This is actually quite simple rather than measuring yourself again your ideals, you measure yourself against where you were before.This is very effective for goa l setting. Most people dont like goals because being ambitious is emotionally taxing. It hurts to fail and it is a let down to succeed.But these emotional problems come from focusing on the wrong thing.People get emotionally attached to outcomes when they are living in the gap. When you live in the gain, then isall you seeis progress.What you focus on expands.When all you see is progress, then your brain comes to expect it more and more. But you get progress without being attached to specific outcomes, even though those outcomes come with increased velocity.Every day, you could measure the gain. You could look back at the end of your day and think to yourself What were my three greatest wins for the day?Former Standford business professor and university president,Henry Eyring, had a practice of asking himself every night How did I see Gods hand in my life today?Eyring would then spend a few minutes meditating on his day, and he would realize the several instances he experienced mira cles or blessings big or small. He would then record those in his journal.Now, as much as measuring the gain is key, you also want torememberthe gain.Most people, when they look back on their past, they often remember the gaps. They remember where things didnt go as well as they could have. They think about how their parents didnt show up as well as they could.Its very easy in relationships to be in the gap where all you see is where the other person isnt up to par. Thats a horrible way to be in a relationship. Its also not ritterlich to the other person.Being in the gap forces your brain to think that things cannot change.Being in the gap is how you develop a fixed mindset.So one of the key strategies of Gratitude to apply is reshaping your memory of the past. Yes, you heard that correctly. Your past is not objective. Rather, your past is entirely subjective and is ameaning.You are the person who ascribes meaning to your experiences. You are the one ascribing meaning and context to your past experiences.Its highly likely that a great deal of your past is in the gap.Gratitude allows you to re-remember your past entirely focused on the gain. When you re-contextualize your past, then you will never be the victim to your past again.Most people, when they describe their current circumstances, point to their past. Im the way I am because of name the experience.Your past does not need to be something you are the victim to. Instead, your past can be something continually inspiring you and propelling you forward.If you truly want to embody and experience the benefits of gratitude, then you must stop trying to be objective about this.You cannot say, But you dont understand, my past really is unique and it was horrible.Im not trying to downplay what happened to you. Nor am I trying to ignore the emotional impact of your previous experiences.What Im showing you is that, quite literally, you are the designer of your past. You get to decide the narrative and perspective an d context.For example, belastung year, I launched my first major book,Willpower Doesnt Work. From outside perspectives, the book was likely a huge success. But for me, it was a huge failure I had specific goals and expectations that werent met. I had invested huge amounts of time and money and didnt succeed at the level I wanted.For a long time, my story around that book launch was that it was a failure. Because of that story in my heard, my memory of that experience was in the gap. I wasnt seeing all the brilliant things that came out of that experience.And the truth is, insane amounts of opportunity, learning, and growth came out of that experience.So,Im choosing to remember the gain, not the gap. Im choosing how I remember that experience. And as a result, Im choosing my narrative and my past.Your past is whatever you ascribe meaning to. You can remember the gains, or you can remember the pain.Post-traumatic growth is the opposite of PTSD. You could have any negative experience i maginable and become better from it. This may take time, but if you are conscious about your emotions and conscious about your future, then you can turn ANY negative experience into a lot of GAIN.Your painful experiences become the doorway to growth and experience, as well as service to others dealing with similar problems.Your biggest failures and problems can be if you let them your greatest drivers of success, learning, and joy.But you need to choose how you see and how you remember them.Its entirely up to you.You can remember the gain or the gap.How you choose to remember determines your past.Transform Your Present CircumstancesFocus on circumstances and youll be a consumer. Focus on capacity and youll be a creator. Kade JamesVery rarely are you going to be in ideal circumstances. There will always be friction and challenge to living your dreams.There will always be inconveniences.The problem isnt actually your circumstances, but how youre looking at them.Perfect circumstances a re not actually ideal.If you look at nature plants and animals that thrive do so because of difficult circumstances. As the poem by Douglas Mallach statesGood timber does not grow with easeThe stronger wind, the stronger treesThe further sky, the greater lengthThe more the storm, the more the strength.By sun and cold, by rain and snow,In trees and men good timbers grow.You dont want perfect circumstances. You want and need the challenge to grow.But circumstances in general, particularly your current circumstances, need to be reframed. If youre going to pay any attention to your circumstances, you should consciously focus on the good in them.Gratitude for the amazing people in your life.Gratitude for the opportunities you currently have.Gratitude for the chance to live on this beautiful planet.If youre reading this article, then you have access to resources that will blow the minds of most of human history.So, as challenging and limiting as your current circumstances are youre probab ly living in the gap. And when you live in the gap, it really doesnt matter what you have, you wont see it that way.You could be a billionaire, and if youre in the gap, it will never be enough.So, part one of transforming the present is appreciating it. Its not about your resources, but how resourceful you are. There are people will far less doing far more with what they have then you are doing.Its not your circumstances, its you.But theres actually a problem with focusing on circumstances at all youre actually far better of focusing on your capability.This is a powerful shift.If you focus on your circumstances, youll find plenty to complain about. But if you focus on your capability, then your only option is to get moving.Your capability is always above your circumstances. There is always something you can do to impact and change your life. To move in the direction you want to go.Gratitude for the opportunity to grow and move forward is how you change your present. You see all the beauty in what you currently have, and you recognize the amazing power you have to improve upon what you have.If youre focused on your capability, then you are more likely to put your energy into creating and moving forward. If youre more focused on your circumstances, then you are more likely to put your energy into consumption and avoidance.How much time are you spending consuming?How much time are you spending creating?If youre consuming, then youre likely living in the gap. Youre likely focused on your circumstances and whats wrong or difficult about them.If youre creating, then your focus isnt on your present circumstances, but your future ones. Youre telling a story about your life and youre the one creating it.This is a powerful way to live.Gratitude for the present and gratitude for what you can do. This allows you to create powerfully.Transform Your Future, Right Here-And-NowYou are the designer of your past memories, your present experience, and your future as well.Every m orning during your morning meditation and visualization session, you want to experience and fully embody gratitude for your future.Visualization is far more powerful when it is mental and emotional. The more emotional and embodied the visualization, the more you will believe and know that it is true.American novelist, Florence Shinn, has said, Faith knows it has already received and acts accordingly.Gratitude for your future bolsters your faith.It allows you to know that youll succeed, long before you do.While most people are defined by experiences from their past, successful people are defined by experiences in their future.What experiences do you want to have?What events in your future do you want to see occur?Are you living your life, right now, as though those experiences were for sure going to happen?Are you living your life, right now, to consciously create those experiences?Do you have complete peace that your dreams will come true? If not, then you likely wont succeed. Your negative emotional state will stop you from the very things you want.Your emotional state is fundamental to what you create in your life and future.If youre at a place of acceptance, peace, and trust, then you will be able to navigate the challenges youll face toward your dreams.Every day experience complete gratitude for the inevitable success of your future. Then, act the part, here and now.ConclusionYou are the one creating your experience in life.You are the one who shapes the meaning of your past.You are the one who determines how well youll do, regardless of the circumstances you are in.As your past, your circumstances are subjective, not objective. Your circumstances are a meaning which you decide what to do with.Focus on your capacity, not your circumstances. When you focus on your capacity, you realize that you have the power to CREATE your desired future, regardless of what you see in front of you.When you focus on capacity, you stop being bogged down by all of the frictio n and challenge in your current circumstances.Undoubtedly, your life is hard. Its far from perfect. There are constraints stopping you from actively moving forward. But in large respect, those constraints are in your head.Focusing on the constraints only makes them larger in your mind.Focusing on what you can do about it, right now, is how you change those constraints.You can change your life, one day at a time.Every morning, you can experience huge amounts of gratitude for your past, your present, and your future.If you take a few minutes to really do this, then youll be shocked at how good you feel. Youll be shocked at the hope and optimism you feel for your future. Youll have a desire to reach out and connect with your loved ones, and tell them how grateful you are for them.When you begin operating from a place of true gratitude, youll immediately begin transforming your life and relationships.What are you waiting for?No more consuming.No more focusing on the problems in your lif e or your past.Instead, take ownership of your experience.Take ownership for your past and your narrative of that past.Take ownership of your current capacity.You have divine potential and unlimited capacity but only if you put the eye of your attention on what you can do, rather than whats wrong.Have a beautiful day.This article first appeared on Medium.